A friend from New York City posted the following status update this morning, “If only people would have as much courage to stand up to their enemies as vigorously as they try to rip apart their allies.” My feelings toward the social media commentary (from a particular segment of the population), regarding last night’s Grammy Awards, had been perfectly captured.
Ah, award shows. A time-honored tradition that I had pretty much written off once the music industry segued from recognizing the innovative in favor of the commercial (that’s an article for another day). With that said, I had very little interest in any aspect of the 2014 Grammy Awards until I came across a blurb about a scheduled performance of Macklemore’s marriage equality anthem, “Same Love.” The rendition was also set to feature the track’s collaborators, Ryan Lewis and Mary Lambert, as well as Madonna and Queen Latifah (the latter would be the officiant during a mass wedding ceremony to take place during the performance).
Color me intrigued. The social and political ramifications following a live broadcast of over 30 couples (both heterosexual and homosexual) exchanging vows during a performance of an immensely successful and mainstream pop single were too tempting to ignore. I elected to rely on various social media feeds to recap the show and then tune in once the performance in question was about to begin.
My Facebook news feed is mainly comprised of the opinions and rantings of gay men that I’ve met over the years. Some I have known for over a decade. Others I have met in passing, once or twice. The one thing that we all have in common is that we are part of a community that has, unquestionably, been subjected to harassment, insults, inequality, and disparaging comments for as long as memory serves.
We are also more than just casually aware of the rising epidemic of teenage suicide due to an increase in both the brutality involved with bullying and new methods with which to do it… namely, social media.
After having my visual senses assaulted by a flood of vicious commentary aimed at various performers at last night’s ceremony, I am suggesting that some of these acquaintances in the gay community look up the word “hypocrisy” in the dictionary.
A large segment of last night’s cyber-vitriol was hurled towards the physical appearance of 17-year-old, Lorde. The New Zealand native is one of the indie-pop scene’s newest darlings and has even earned the praise of David Bowie (note to haters: all of her talent aside, just garnering the approval of Ziggy Stardust makes her better than you). I would like to reiterate the fact that she is a 17-year-old girl. A 17-year-old girl with a penchant for the arts. I would actually be critical if she was NOT taking the liberty of being creative with her wardrobe and makeup to express herself. What I found interesting about the abuse directed at Lorde was that it made me question how much, if any, of that would be aimed at the likes of Lady Gaga if she walked out onstage in a similar look.
Further insults flew in the direction of older musical legends like Willie Nelson, Yoko Ono, Paul McCartney, and Carole King. Again, all based on physical appearances. I suppose this can be chalked up to the ignorance that many 20-something-year-old gays have when it comes to, not only the artistic merits of these accomplished individuals, but also their contributions to gay rights over the years. A simple Google search would reveal the very outspoken support for gay rights by both Nelson and Ono. Apparently, when an older generation of heterosexual music icons lend their voices against bigotry, they are thanked by being referred to as looking like a “redneck crackhead” or an “Oriental woman dancing like she’s having a seizure.”
I was especially surprised at some of the nasty references to both Madonna and Mary Lambert, two of the co-performers during “Same Love.” You would never guess that the gay community held these two women in any sort of esteem with gratitude for their support of marriage equality. Mary Lambert’s weight was an easy target for some as was Madonna’s cosmetic surgery and use of a cane due to a recent foot injury.
By the time “Same Love” came and went, any excitement I had for the performance had waned due to the sheer ugliness floating through cyberspace towards many folks who have had the community’s back when very few others did. Some of these individuals have done more for gay rights and AIDS awareness than most of us could ever attempt to do in our lifetime.
Most of the folks slinging these comments would, undoubtedly, claim they were just “joking around” and being “witty.” You know who else said they were “joking around”? The cretins who drove Jamey Rodemeyer and Tyler Clementi to suicide. Remind me how we are any better than them? And, no, the likelihood (or lack, thereof) of these celebrities committing suicide in the wake of cyber-bullying does not give people the proverbial “green light” to eviscerate them via the internet. That line of defense is so weak it would get you laughed off of a 9th grade debate team.
I would also like to point out that a key element in the definition of “witty” is “inventive.” None of the comments that I read last night were even remotely inventive. Instead, most were just cruel and shallow and did nothing but further perpetuate unfortunate stereotypes about the gay community.
The next time we are looking for support from the straight community against anti-gay politicians, bigots, or bullies, we should ask ourselves, “Why would they support us if this is how we show our appreciation?”